I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize