Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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