There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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