He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well you can't waste a boner
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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