Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My pussy is not your playground.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My feet surprised me
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