paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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