uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
