we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
