take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
