I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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