How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
