Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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