Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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