Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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