is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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