well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize