Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
