Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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