Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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