you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
