Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
