Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
