I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize