My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
