don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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