I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
