Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
