Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
