For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize