I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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