I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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