i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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