i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
