fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
why is half of my head shaved?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
