One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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