your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
