Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
