there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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