How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
