So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize