cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
