It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
