sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
