You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
