ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
