When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
