My room smells like vodka and shame
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
