I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
