he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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