so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
