Don't you send me to vm
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
