PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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