Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
