if only i could text you this smell
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
