Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that's an acceptable place to lick
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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