Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
