I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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