brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
