me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
