i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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