I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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