I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
