They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
