i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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