that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize